That’s entertainment?

Posted: July 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

Image  pot

“Are you not entertained?” bellowed Maximus in the epic blockbuster Gladiator.  Well, no, I’m not Maximus.  I’m bored shitless.  And the reason is, that there’s nowt on the tele!  So, recently, I’ve been trialling various video on demand services, here’s how they faired:


Here’s what Lovefilm’s tagline should be: “Lovefilm?… So much so that you’re prepared to wait about 6 months to see a ‘new’ release?”  becuase that’s how long it takes to get a new release through the post.  I watched Lawless last weekend – that film was released on DVD in November 2012.  It was real surprise when it finally turned up on my doorstep, a real surprise because I couldn’t even remember putting it on my list.

Quick comment on the online streaming service… it’s abysmal.  Unless you like shit films by Adam Sandler (excluding Happy Gilmore obvs.)


Netflix is cheaper and marginally better.  Their tagline could be: ‘wanna pay £5.99 a month and try and find enough films you actually want to watch?  Give it a go if you like a challenge.”  I watched ‘The Usual Suspects’ last night but nearly watched fucking “Growns Ups” (lucky escape according to IMDB’s rating),  The interface is OK but unless you’re happy with boxsets (FYI 4od have every series of Peep Show for free) then you won’t get value for money.


Blinkbox is a neat idea but there’s no way I can be arsed to login and enter my credit card details every time I want to watch a film.  I could walk to the cinema and watch a better film in that time.

Now TV

I haven’t used this Sky offering but my friend, a UX specialist, says the following:  “Film quality will vary during the start of the film and can be worse than VHS.  Worst thing though is the buffering; films can buffer every 30 seconds for a considerable time, rendering the film useless.  Couldn’t watch Skyfall for 2 weeks because of this.  If you complain, Now TV will question your broadband saying that you need at least 2MB… I have 60 MBs.”

So Now TV’s tagline could be “Now TV… well not exactly Now TV, but soon TV… just give us a chance to buffer TV.”

So, in conclusion, Video on demand isn’t working.  It’s obviously better than the Blockbuster days (“yeah, I’m gonna have to fine you a tenner because you brought it back a day late, even though this film’s shit and you only rented it because we ran out of the film you actually wanted to see”) but there’s still a way to go.  Entertainment is about choice.  And if I had the choice between this lot, I would probably opt for a pot noodle… only kidding, I’d probably go to the cinema.


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