foxtons… so bad, it is actually funny…

Posted: April 25, 2012 in Uncategorized


Today’s blog entry comes to you from guest editor Biffington Burgundy, who felt compelled to share his experience with those jesters at foxtons….

“My girlfriend basically decided that fighting off women with a stick vying for my affections was becoming a full time job and she needed to move in with me so she would know where I was at all times… We both decided on an area (docklands), a price range, the type of property we wanted and that we didn’t want to use foxtons. Upon starting the search for our new lovenest, we quickly realised that we were seeing a large array of sub standard properties that were struggling to tick half our boxes, let alone most. We decided off the back of this to bite the bullet and dance with the devil – we’d have to speak to foxtons…

Now… for all of foxton’s faults (of which I will come to in a minute) they without a doubt have the best stock on the market, making them a necessary evil. Within 3 days my girlfriend had viewed 5 properties, all of which were better than what we’d seen before, and whittled these down to 2 that she liked the most. I then viewed the 2 properties a few days later and was greeted by a guy called Luke….

Luke was about 4 foot tall, had been out of uni 3 weeks and looked about 12 (but in reality was probably about 20). He took me in his foxtons bastardised mini and informed me that his automatic had been hi-jacked by a colleague and we had a manual. He hadn’t driven a manual in 3 years. What proceeded was for us to be bunny hopped around east London (luckily I hadn’t eaten) for about half an hour. Upon finally reaching the property, I asked him if it came with a parking space. He didn’t know.  When viewing the property the tenants were in so I asked them if it came with a parking space and they informed me that it did. To which I turned to Luke and said ‘there we go, it comes with one.’ He sort of smiled….

Back in the car being bunny hopped back to foxtons HQ, I stated a couple of things about the property I wasn’t keen on,  to which he replied, with a straight face, “true, but what I didn’t tell you is that this property does come with a free parking space’”  The fact that I already asked him about the parking space and he didn’t know and asked the tenants in front of him, all escaped him. He genuinely didn’t remember this episode that happened literally 7 minutes ago. All he knew was that in his foxtons brain he had somehow computed it came with a free parking space and therefore, that he should tell me!

Instead of getting irate, at that point it clicked… their mechanical rather than personal service was down to them being so overworked that they genuinely can’t remember where they’ve obtained info from. Their brains are fried. I hate to go all Jerry Maguire but it made me realise that fewer clients and properties serviced will always make for a better estate agent. In my experience it seems to be commonplace that all estate agents are overworked. foxtons are just the mad, raving all nighters of the estate agency world…

To further add to this fawlty towers experience, I asked to put an offer in on the property (with the free parking space) and had to fill out a form just to put an offer in… eventually it was accepted… Luke gets his £300-£400 admin fee and commission, I go in and fill out the standing order form, to which he then shredded (again I’m not joking) by accident so I had to go in again 2 weeks later… Now, I like to think Luke is back bouncing round London in his cheap Primark suit telling people about free car parking spaces (whether there’s one or not).

I’ve never been so glad to deal with a landlord in all my life. If you ever want to start an estate agent, less is more if you care about your customer service… vs foxtons, you’d have me at hello…”

A bit about today’s guest editor: Biffington Burgundy is a stallion of a man from Canterbury.  His interests are single malt whisky, fulham football club, eating chicken and professional lovemaking.  If you’d like to contribute to this blog, email me your rants to

  1. Tony says:

    I cringe when people bash estate agents or people in sales for know particular reason. It screams bitterness. You know full well that the Foxtons guy will be on a decent wage probably far better than your own and you begrudge him this because you got good A-Levels and a degree and you believe that the world owes you a living as a result.

    You knock Foxtons and their employees however you admit in your blog that you tried many companies before them….yet which one delivered?

    2 months out of uni? so what? we all start our career at some point and showing you round a £800 a month crappy flat is hardly top end is it. If you were viewing a £4mill place in Knightsbridge then I’d take your point.

    Less is more with estate agents? they wouldn’t have a selection to show you then would they?

    Forgetting the car parking thing – a bit sloppy but you’d probably bored the life out of him with your chat about accountancy or the poor living standards of the unemployed in London and how they deserve better.

    Primark suit? good for him. hopefully it will be a boss one next year.

    • joffoutlaw says:

      Thanks for the emotional feedback Tony! I didn’t write this article, but I’ll try and get feedback for you. A few things, however:

      – I agree ‘sales’ is the lifeblood of every company, this chap got ‘bashed’ because he had no knowledge of the thing he was supposed to be selling.
      – Foxtons have aggressively taken over London’s property market, which has forced many local estate agents (who offer a better service) out of business.
      – The price of the flat was never mentioned
      – ‘Less is more” is a correct statement. This poor chap was probably seeing so many people and had so many properties on his books, he couldn’t do his job properly.
      – Foxtons chew up and spit out more graduates than xbox and weed so it’s more likely he’ll be back considering his career option within a year rather than donning a Boss suit.
      – Foxtons graduates get paid 24k, you have no idea how much I earn.
      – I do not think the world owes me a living.

    • Michael says:

      Tony. . sister. . either run around the block or have a wank but chill out. It is a fact that UK Estate Agents are low on the totem pole of life and proof that free markets economies require some legal parameters. Anyway I have dealt with Foxtons a number of times, unfortunately, I would agree with my learned friend Biffington. What is also interesting about Foxtons is that the men seem to be pseudo bastards but the women seem to be all-right.

  2. Marley says:

    I was going to be hilarious and write a one worded exploitive directed at foxtons, but after reading Tony’s response thought better of it.

    I don’t know why estate agents get the bad rap they do. Maybe it is because (in my experience with them) that they know fuck all about the property which they are taking you to, which is surely the purpose of using them in the first place. Otherwise let me deal with the tennant.

    On a positive, Foxtons do have a broad selection of properties. They also have the money to invest in a site which is generally usable (although I haven’t seen this in a while).

    However, that’s where the joy stops. I can find the property myself on your site (thanks for that) but if I want any more information it’s going to be pot luck with whichever agent I get. More often than not I’ll get the answer “I’ll look into that (standard bit of information) and get back to you”. This response of course being a poor customer experience and not helping me make quick decisions on properties, particularly when there may be others viewing the property who may snatch it up before me as I wait to see if there is a free parking space.

    A “great” experience of mine was being taken to
    a property by the estate agent only to find that he had the wrong time and thus the tennants weren’t ready, and when I say not ready I mean in the bloody shower. Being encouraged by the lady of the house to look around anyway was a little uncomfortable but I did so anyway. However, this was made worse when the husband came out the bathroom in his towel to be confronted by me. “Great, I’ve seen all I need, we’ll take this one thanks!” I’ll also confess this wasn’t Foxtons, but they’re all the same.

    To be fair, there are too many properties coming on and off the market for Foxtons to be able to digest the details of each before it is taken and are therefore bloody useless to me, actually, that’s unfair. You do get a free lift.

    Oh, and on your topic of money Tony. I don’t think there was any angst about what salary foxtons agents are on. If anything it’s to do with the fees they get for not doing anything other than driving you to the property. Their fee should be earnt through being useful and providing the information that you want on a property and showing you properties that more or less match what you’re after. Etc etc. if they do then great, if not then what have they done for their fee.

    At the end of the day it also comes down to the type of customer you are. Maybe those that don’t do homework on the area, council tax bands, house pricing on that street etc are the ones that will benefit from using an estate agent, if these questions are answered.

    Oh, and that one worded explitive…


    That goes for the muppet that “helped” me purchase my house. Scaremonger bitch!

  3. Angry says:

    Let’s name and shame the bastard, was his name Luke Dunlop? That’s the prat that led us around our rental and knew nothing about it.

    It’s been back and forth with these muppets from the day we moved in. I seems they can’t do anything right and require a lot of prompting and reminding to do things that should be routine, given their job role (like confirming with our landlord that he was going to repay us our money on the agreed day — oh yes, our “furnished house” came with no furniture because the landlord “ran out of money”; we had to buy it ourselves and await repayment. Luckily Foxtons gave us about 24 hours notice before we moved in. That was nice of them.)

    Admittedly they’re probably working ridiculous hours, but that’s not my problem. We went through an agency as this was supposed to provide an easier and more enjoyable, albeit more expensive, renting/buying experience. Well, bollocks to that. We have had hell from day one and I wish we’d never gone with Foxtons.

    I’m sure most people would agree that once you’ve tried Foxton’s, you won’t be using them again.


  4. Joe999 says:

    I deal with Foxtons on a regular basis and they are completely useless and totally exhausting to deal with. They do employ 20 year olds who know nothing about anything, usually not terribly bright and think if they ignore your requests, they’ll just away. Unbearably inefficient. Btw, Tony, you can’t spell, so best you learn to spell before writing responses!!!

  5. In my experience, Foxtons haven’t improved in this time.

    Very enthusiastic until your signed up. Good website.

    Appalling, disrespectful, slow, incompetent and rude customer service when it comes to high-paying tenants and property management.

    Enough said.

  6. Balham Solicitor says:

    Foxtons are awful. They’re trying to sell the flat I rent… while I’m still in it and within my Assured Tenancy. They even served a Section 21 Notice telling me to leave before the end of my contract then spent weeks and weeks phoning me, emailing me, texting me, writing to me… How does a London Estate Agent of their magnitude not know their way around tenancy law ??? Idiots !

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